It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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