OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
