it was like having sex with a tree stump
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
