What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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