She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Sext me about skeletons
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
