I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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