She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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