he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
This girl is more easily done than said...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
