this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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