Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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