dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
