she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
