Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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