The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
