OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
