it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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