Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
