she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
