I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
