question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
