Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
is wine microwaveable?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
