We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
