VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
