ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Is Oprah even human
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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