they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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