Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
