i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
