The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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