there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize