can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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