don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
