Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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