Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
