theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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