There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
