Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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