The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Congratulations! We have a period
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
