I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
