I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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