im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
