i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
