i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
