Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
how drunk are you?
Several
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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