I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
