who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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