Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
