I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
