ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
