Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
