I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I feel great
I just peed on a car
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize