Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
