I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
