woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
