one two three fourrrrnication!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
whose parrot is this?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
