We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
