Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My ass is underappreciated
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
