Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
