woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize