You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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