Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
