Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
