Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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