I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
