tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
