maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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