Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
