Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
