We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
